Thursday, 26 March 2015

He's here !

He is 7+ Weeks now :)

I wanted to write about my delivery to the lil Luq for quite sometime but just couldnt find the time.
It was not easy to handle a toddler and a baby even with the help from my mom !

I dont know how my mom did it last time, without TV and Ipad :)

So here goes.

On 2nd of Feb 2015,

I told my hubby in the afternoon that after Maghrib prayers I wanted to go to the hospital.
The baby moving lesser and lesser for the past few days and I spotted the mucus plug.
We leave Fea with her grandmother.

The moment we reached the hospital's carpark, I felt a gush of water running down.
Oh my, my water broke.My skirt was soaking wet.
We found a wheelchair near the lift, I sat on it and my husband pushed me straight to the delivery suite.

The same nurse that was with me during the delivery of lil fea was working that night and she still recognized us. (I was in the labour room for 3 days that time. HAHA)
We settled in.
The nurse did a VE and I was 3cm dilated.
I didn't feel a thing.

My Gynae came in at about 9pm and asking whether I need an epidural.
I started to feel the contraction by that time and it getting stronger and I was at 3cm.
Of course I need an epidural.

So she arranged for an anesthetist.

The contraction keep on getting stronger and I was all uhhh----ahhhh.
practicing the breathing technique.
Initially, it worked ! but after sometimes, I can't handle it anymore.

Everytime the nurses came in to check on me, I asked for the epidural.

At last the anesthetist came.
He explained the procedures but I couldn't be bothered.
I just want that happy-dural!. HAHAHAHA

When everything complete, he said that within 15-20 minutes,
The pain will go away, 80% of it. I still need to feel the contraction in order for me to push later on.

20minutes passed. I can still feel the contraction and it was even more painful.
I was half screaming. It was so painful at the pelvic area. and I was about to push.
At that time, I was only 5cm dilated.

The anesthetist suggested that I took Spinal block.
It was the first time I heard it...but whatever.
Give it to me I told him.

He did warned me that I got a very high dose of pain relief for this delivery.
But what can I do ? :(

Immediately, I felt all the pain go away.
I can breath normally again.

when I was about to rest...I shivered.
I can't stop my shoulders to shivers. and it was a strong one.
It was like, the contractions now moved to the shoulders.

I was told that it was a side effects and nothing that I can do but to just faced it.
I started to vomit later on.
I was not allowed to eat, but I have some kurma to give me some energy.

With the constant strong shivers that I feel all over my shoulder and hands,
I cant sleep. I cant even type anything on my phone to update my friends. HAHA.
So it was a boring 3-4 hours, hubby was half awake beside me.
I didn't want to bother him so much though he could hear my body shaking uncontrolably

Actually, I cant really remember the deets anymore.
I'm aging. HAHAHA

But at 3am, i started to feel pain at the pelvic area.
I called the nurse an my opening was at 9cm.
She thought me how to push.

The baby wasn't coming down yet.
So I keep on pushing every 20minutes.

at around 4.30pm the pain getting stronger and I demand a doctor to come and see my condition.
I`m so ready to push.
But she was busy, at about 5.00 am she came in.

She could already see the baby's head.
and I pushed whenever i feel the contraction coming.
After multiples pushes, the baby came out.
I ddint have episiotomy, but only a lil tear.
A big achievement as compared to my last pregnancy. HAHA

Lil Luq surely has a very strong voice.
After the nurse took him away to clean and do some inspection,
We could hear his voice loud and clear from our room :)
his temp at that time was almost 40degree celcius.
But gradually decline when i started breastfeeding him.

He has tongue tied so breastfeeding is very difficult.
My nipple bleed, however i managed to breastfeed him exclusively for 1 week,
throughout our stay in the Hospital due to the jaundice he has.

He was put under phototheraphy on 2nd day and a surgeon do the frenotomy for the tongue tie on his 5th day (7.02.15)

So, that's all.

I`m still struggling actually with the 2 kids.
I'm not doing my best especially on the breastfeeding department.
Most of the time, I feel down but I try to be positive.

Nevertheless, I`m very thankful with the experiences, be it good or bad :)

our last outing with lil Fea before she gets a lil bro.

Our lil hero :)

Tuesday, 6 January 2015

Fea's first day in Kindy

To sum it all,

Both of us came back home with a swollen eyes -_-

It was soooooooooooooooo hard to let strangers handle your baby.
I'm not sure how other mommies out there done it...but for was the hardest thing.

All this while, her Granny took care of her...and we all live together.
Hassle free, I have no worries at all.

One day, the kindy @ my office open a slot for new registration and Fea was accepted via voting process. It was hard to get a place and Alhamdulillah, we managed to get it.

We wanted to try this new arrangement, mainly because the no2 is going to pop out anytime soon
and I dont want to burden my mom to take care both of them.

And we believed that it is about time for Fea to join play school to improve her social skills.

Today is the 3rd day Fea @ Kindy and both husband and I are still not sure if this is the best decision.
We are still thinking that she is too small, have not yet able to speak and might be extra clingy since all this while, she had all the attention from her Granny.

My bestfriends advised that sooner or later I will need to face this so, better now.

Findings :
1st day- swollen eyes due to excessive crying I believe
2nd day- i saw a little bump on her forehead. -_____________________- and they didn't even bother to clean up the smudges under her eyes though i put a note to Fea don't use talcum.
3rd day-  today.

Let see how the progress within this week.

Update as of 20th March 2015 :

We stopped sending her to the kindly on 4th day.
Mainly because, on the 3rd day we found another small bruise on her cheek.

I went to the kindy and seek for explanation.
The head/supervisor was very helpful and understanding.
She called Fea's teacher to find out what happened, but she suddenly become defensive.
Keep on repeating she did not know and whatever happened was not in her supervision.
To be honest, I`m OK if those marks have explanations....things just happened sometime...
But, nobody could explain. Seem like no one monitored my daughter.

That's it. We made up our minds.
We are not ready for this.
The granny was even more upset than my husband and I when she saw the bruises.

She's willing to take care her grandchildren. We were so relieved.
Next year, we will try again...and hopefully things will be better.

Sunday, 28 September 2014



Not sure why I'm writing this because this blog has been neglected for sooooooo long. Hahaha

I`m 5 months pregnant now.

Everything happened so fast.
We did plan this pregnancy, and wanted to wait at least Sofea is 2 years old (by dec this year)
before we started with the 2nd baby...

The same thing when we planned for Sofea, we wanted to wait at least 1 year
but somehow, somewhere, Miracles happened

Allah SWT, the better Planner, knows what's best for us.
and we couldn't be any happier.

Not sure whether we are ready financially, physically and emotionally for the arrivals of the 2nd baby.

Our house that we purchased almost 2 years ago, almost ready. Alhamdulillah.
which will surely bring additional headaches financially ...

but we strongly believe, Allah SWT will guide and ease our burdens.


The soon to be big-sister, Sofea is now becoming more and more active, clingy, bubbly, charming, cute and at the same time , more mischievous and cunning. hahaha.

She looks like her father, but definitely inherited all my attitudes.

Hope that I can find more time writing here.
Take care !

Tuesday, 18 February 2014

At last

I cry, at the toilet room.

Sometimes, I talked too much.
think that I'm good, above average.

Well obviously, I`m not any better than the rest.

Most of the time,
that person doubted me, questioning my capabilities.
always reminding me that at where I am right now, I should be doing this and not that.

Often, I accept sarcasms or criticisms.
I'm that person who could be reprimanded

But today I can't.
Not when he does that in front of other people.
Not when this time, more than twice.

I feel demotivated.
Guess, that's what he wanted me to feel. Good for NOTHING.

I need to vent it out.
So I cry.


Sunday, 16 February 2014

Husband's 31st

I was scratching my head on where and how to celebrate my Husband's 31st.
Either go big or just having an intimate dinner just the 2 of us.

Well, I knew, what ever it is, it gonna involve one stay at a hotel.

I have one place in mind but afraid Husband not gonna like it.
He preferred somewhere around KLCC but we've been there for my birthday celebration last 2 years.

Initial plan was to go to celebrate in Bangkok.
But due to the unstable political scene plus, we are going to bring Fea,
we aborted the idea.

Hotel checked !
Next was a birthday dinner.

I really wanted to go to the Mandarin Grill, Mandarin Oriental KL
due to the great reviews I found on the Internet...
but husband wanted a simple dinner and not to waste money.
We should keep the romantic dinner for other occasion.

Fine then...and thank you Husband for your kind understanding :)

Finally I booked Majestic Hotel KL to spend our night.

We went out at 10.00am and Fea was with her grandmother.
We had a breakfast, go to Pavillion and by 2.30pm we checked in to the hotel.

Our first impression was WOW and it lasted for the whole stay !
We got an upgraded room.
I truly recommend this hotel for a special occasion .
Love it ~

We spent some time together, just the two of us :)
Though most of our conversations were about lil Fea. Haha.

After Maghrib prayers, we went out for a Dinner at The Daily Grind Bangsar Village.
The food were delish ! will come back definitely .

Before coming back to the Hotel, we took Lil Fea.
Been missing her like cray cray ~

Surprisingly, this was what waiting for us at the room...

I did put a note on the reservation that I will be celebrating my Hub's bday.

The next day was our leisure time...
Daddy daughter bonding time 

His Birthday present :



Wednesday, 22 January 2014

OnceUponATime : Honesty.

At times, I feel its not fair.
I work as much...contribute as much...but at the same time..
I still need to be a wife.

Maybe because I am lazy. Just plain lazy.
And I'm taking advantage of having a very patient husband.

My mum keep on nagging me to change...cause Im now a wife...and going to be a mother!
I need to change my pattern. I need to wake up earlier than him.
Prepare him breakfast...cook dinner for him...
Just be a wife....if not a good wife.

Bluergh !

"so what if you are a graduate? working as this or that? 
do you have any idea how many career women out there who are like you, but better (read :at doing domestic chores) ?"

"what makes you think he's gonna stick with you through all the time?  Love? you are so naive.
What you've got to offer? not that you know how to stay in shape (read:fat)..and don't let me start with your laziness !
you better change....or else. (read: you'll end up like me)"

I guess, my mum is like Joan Rivers when giving marriage advice....

cruel right? but she has been there and done that.
I'm matured enough to know, what I'm doing is wrong and change is a must !

Pregnant or not, shouldn't be an excuse.
I have my responsibilities....and the prior ones are not in the office.
After all, I'm the one who begged him to marry me.

Have you ever wondered, how many other women wanted to be in your position?
To have your loving husband as her's?

To have found my husband is truly a blessing journey of mine.
Every day, I thank Allah SWT....for having a wonderful man in my life.

As a start, I tried to do the things .... seikhlas hati....
and slowly change my patterns

In all honesty....I don't think I'm a bad wife.
I have my strong points and I'd made sacrifices for this relationship...

Ah, Humans !

Friday, 19 April 2013

OnceUponATime : Taking things easy

Me : Doc...dulu...masa saya kat klinik XX...saya dapat 1 kali jer shot time pregnant. Doc kat sane ckp to continue second shot kat sini.

Doc : Tak perlu la....1 shot jer dah cukup...die macam booster jer.

Me : Ok...Doc....tangan saya ni macam sakit la....should i be worry?

Doc : biasalah tuh...water retention....nanti saya bagi krim sapu

Me : Ok...Doc....kalau macam keadaan saya ni (34 weeks) ok lagi ke nak travel jauh? cm g penang ker?

Doc : Boleh car ke flight?

Me : Car jer...ok ke doc? biasalah....time ujung2 tahun ni banyak plak org kawen....

Doc : aah kan? sambil senyum...

I think...through out my pregnancy....Things have been ok. So ok until whatever I said/mengadu...
the doc will said...'biasalah tu'.

Dua ke tiga hari balik dari Penang...aku terus terberanak !

Allah knows best. Always.